Who am I?

My mind has been prey to the constant "showers of delusion" that religious, political, financial, and/or ideological platforms use for their own purposes. I am understanding more and more each day about this mind-moving power that very few people seem to want to discuss in length. I used to be the same way, but I am not that way anymore. Some say I have chosen the way of depression & sorrow, instead of marching in the land of ignorance & bliss. Well I say, "You stay in your land and I will stay in mine."

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Sandy Hook Elementary: The Face of Autism?

The manipulative strategies imposed by those that are aware of the fleeting faculties of the human mind are very seasoned at what they do. There will never be a time when drama isn't king within our media. "The people want something, so we give it to them". That's the power behind the various faces of reality presented by some media sources.

Currently, the face of autism spectrum disorder (ASD) is being implicated as a potential reason for the unthinkable acts of nightmare-type violence that occurred on December 14, 2012. These acts of violence stole the lives of 20 innocent children and seven school staff members. These acts were so well planned out that the most experienced experts in our nation are having difficulties finding evidence to answer the loudest & most resounding question bouncing off the minds of the people. WHY did this happen?

The coward that committed these epic acts of pure evil had an autism spectrum disorder (ASD) called Asperger's Syndrome.  Interestingly, the limited amount of information we have on this cancerous individual creates a very narrow picture of his life. However, out of that limited information, ASD seems like the best answer to the resounding question of why. This is understandable knowing and feeling the heart-stabbing pain of the parents and family members that lost their loved ones. The anger that furiously screams for justice over top of the yellow-bellied body of the killer. WHY?

Individuals diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) may have social impairments, communication & speech delays, and atypical behavioral expressions.  These impairments, deficits, and expressions are due to neuro-developmental components of their brain cortex that function differently than the typical person. A neuro-developmental disorder is not a mental illness, although some individuals with ASD may suffer from comorbid mental conditions (e.g., depression & obsessive-compulsive disorder). Aggression is also an area of concern for many parents and caregivers of individuals with an ASD. However, aggression is typically reactionary to an inability to effectively communicate, heightened environmental stimulation, or being abused. Understanding the feelings of others is another criterion used to diagnose a child with ASD. This is typically an issue during the infant years, although there are some individuals that keep this as they age. However, it is no more prevalent than the typical individual that lacks empathy.  The most effective evidence-based treatment for ASD is applied behavioral analysis (ABA) beginning at an early age. This intervention is used to increase useful behaviors and decrease problematic behaviors. Many individuals with ASD also receive speech therapy and occupational therapy. Mental health medications are not typically used to treat ASD symptoms. I would like to highlight the fact that neuro-developmental disorders are not the same as mental illnesses.

The day after 14 December 2012, my husband asked me to watch a documentary on the 1997 North Hollywood Bank Robbery - Shooting Rampage. As I watched, I literally felt as if I were watching a movie. I could not believe these men were using illegally modified fully automatic guns, with high capacity drum magazines and ammunition capable of penetrating police body armor, as if they were playing a video game. I was so thankful no one was killed (except the shooters). Later we did a Wikipedia search on this shooting rampage only to find out that these men had been picked up four years earlier with a trunk load of guns, ammo, and everything one needs to kill a mass of people. Interestingly, these men were released from jail after 100 days and given back most of their property. Now we, the readers, were privy to a short & limited background on these two individuals, but there was clearly a lot of "history" missing.  This history may have given us a reason as to why these men "went out" as they did.

What history do we have on this current mass murderer?  Was he on medications?  Was he also diagnosed with mental or medical conditions?

The scenes of the DC Sniper, Aurora, Columbine, Virginia Tech and another recent senseless shooting rampage will always be fresh in the minds of the reigning generation. What do all of these mass murderers have in common besides their preferred choice in weaponry?  Perhaps we need to press the experts to assist us in answering that question instead of using the face of autism as the answer.  Especially knowing these other mass murderers were not diagnosed with ASD.

Related article:
What Drives Suicide Mass Killers

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Sandy Hook Elementary: Birth from Death

At the core of our existential being is not a need for gifts, medical miracles, friends, or more money. At our core lies a numbing need for answers. Not answers to questions relating to LIFE, no, no, no. The answers we seek mostly relate to DEATH, and all that is "birth" from it.

Friday, December 14, 2012 created a reviving shock in the frozen hearts & minds of individuals around the world. The minds of people began to seek information, knowing from the spirit that binds us all together, another expression of imbalance has once again brought us back to a familiar place...reality. That place we run from everyday, knowing one day we will return.

As a result of what occured on this day, there is a collective shiver in the spirit of man. Whether it is because the children & staff were taken away too soon or because of the families they left behind, the pain attached to this collective event worked to bind us all spiritually & emotionally. The normal "distractions" of politics in the form of gun control, our attempt to profile what a murderer looks like, and the heartless individuals who financially capitalize from this, WILL NOT take away how this horrific happening has emotionally charged the hearts of people. We all have questions. We all want answers.

The anger & pain we feel is normal. The emotions disallowing us to think are for a reason. The feelings of helplessness are real. There is nothing in the world that allows us to completely escape these. They are apart of the DNA of existence.

It was two years ago when I first experienced real understanding of the concept "birth from death". Admittedly, I have been conditioned by the religious cultures of our time. So my knowledge of this concept had no real foundation outside of what I had been told. It was not until I began to see the LIFE of all mankind as one LIFE, that I began to realize when something happens to one, it happens to us all. The deaths that occurred on December 14, 2012 have invoked LIFE into the spirit of man. It is a LIFE buried deeper than the life brought forth by the so-called Christmas spirit. Nothing binds us more than death.

As we all fight within to grab some type of control over our emotions and our questions, please take some time to recognize yourself within the spirit of man as one that continues to live for those that have died.

NOTE: If you are having a difficult time coping with what happened at Sandy Hook Elementary, please seek assistance. Find someone that will listen, and talk to them about how you feel. If you need some assistance finding a mental health professional, I would recommend asking a friend who may suggest one, asking your primary medical doctor, or doing an internet search within your local area. If you choose to seek after a mental health professional, please use the first meeting to get to know the individual before sharing any personal information.

Here are a few links that may assist you:
Finding a Psychologist
Managing Your Distress in the Aftermath of a Shooting
Helping Your Children Manage Distress in the Aftermath of a Shooting

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

"Step Away from the Joystick!"

The need to communicate a stance on doctrines of religion, politics, and social welfare quickly leaves the faculties of ones who have experienced the unseen canopy that shields all three.  These indviduals are no longer hung up (like moldy towels) on what is truth, what is right, and what is not (the incessant circle of bad is good and good is bad).  The truth is obvious for the one who really wants to behold its beauty.  It is constantly staring each one of us in the face like a built in mirror that SOMEHOW gets distorted (perhaps it is down in the Texas heat).

The arguments of the left and the arguments of the right mean nothing to someone who understands the underlying reason for there being a LEFT & a RIGHT.  This argument has thus then been reduced to that of a video game JOYSTICK (yeah, I'm showing my age)! Think about that for a minute, a joystick.

If you want more than the joystick for yourself, for those around you, and within the world you live, then you must "step away from the joystick" and travel down the path that demands you seek after those things that are true about yourself, about others, and about the world around you.

Be encouraged in knowing this...You were given your OWN mind and it is yours!  Grab ahold to it and realize you are only what it tells you you are!  So what are you, a joystick?  Use your own mind to answer that.

I feel the truth. I hear the truth. I see the truth. Isn’t that because I am of the truth? Because if I am here, or what I believe I am is HERE, then what else could I possibly know, but that? …That I am here and if I am here then there IS a here to be here & if there IS a here to be here then there is a BE here. I am who I say I am & that is all I know.

Monday, August 22, 2011

You Can't Do Anymore Than You Can Do!

Whether your mind tells you this or not, you do not have the power to do more than what you can do.  If you have done all you can do in a situation or under some circumstance, then what more can you do?

Yes, of course our minds love to dwell on our expectations and ideas, but have you ever stopped for a minute and wondered where your expectations and ideas originated from?  I have.  And while I was pondering that, I also realized that a lot of what I thought was my mind was not my really my mind at all.  It was the minds of my parents, my teachers, my friends, media writers, church leaders, and on and on.

It's kind of amusing now, in hindsight, how ridiculously unrealistic it was for me to hold on so tightly to expectations and ideas that I had never thought through for myself.  Not to say I would have been able to think them through as one without the experience or the insight it requires to think those things through.  However, what I am saying is that I now have the understanding that there have been thoughts, ideas, and beliefs installed or uploaded (for the techie generation) into my mind that I need to take time to think through for myself.

John Locke, a famous Enlightment thinker, said we are born into this world with a "blank slate" for a mind.  Meaning that our minds need to be programmed or written (like a book) by parents, caregivers, teachers, and society.  They are the ones responsible for laying and shaping the foundations of our minds.  Our perception of the world is not really ours until we take back control and find out for ourselves what this world is really all about.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

The Curse: An Automatic Looping System

Sometimes I “feel” cursed.

I know religious teachings from afar and from nearby have taught that mankind must always strive to be “free”. Free from what? Some religious texts say a curse, some say ourselves, and some say evil spirits. Well I cannot prove to myself or anyone else which one of those is entirely correct, but what I do know is this, in my own mind or whatever it is that controls the desires of my body seems to be some type of automatic looping system. I always seem to come right back to the same way of thinking about something, looking at something, wanting something, and/or feeling something. It never fails, it never changes, and it always seems ready. That automatic looping system is the curse of every single soul within flesh that has come forth from Earth in human form.

So my question is, how does Earth, in human form, produce Earth in human form with a different automatic looping system?

Monday, September 20, 2010

You better not judge!

Judge not, unless you want to be judged. What exactly does this or could this mean in the American society? Are we suppose to take this as being the same as “if you are happy for others, then happy things will befall you”? We are told to heed these sayings in order to secure a better life. I have personally seen the application of these sayings create better lives for people. But my question remains, is there a realistic way to continuously follow these sayings in the capitalist, competitive, individualistic society we live?

When I tried to answer this question I realized there were many "sayings" that have been impressed upon us as “do or die” requirements. How many of these things are realistically relevant? Therein lies the reason I have chosen to “shed” away those teachings I was told were right and true, in order to see what still remains. And from what remains I have been building (or at least trying my hardest to build) only those things that have shown themselves to be true, productive, harmless, and helpful to myself and all those in THE WORLD around me.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

The Resilience of the Human is Amazing

In my efforts to sleep through the night, a sentence continuously resonated off the many sides of my brain over and over and over from the moment it woke me up at 3am this morning. "The Resilience of the Human is Amazing".

Within the confines of moisturized dirt lies an energy, a spirit that has the ability to move, make, and destroy, all the while knowing it's time within that flesh will come to an end. In the face of oppression it continues to breathe, in the face of genocide it slowly limps forward, and in the face of decapitating natural disasters it stands firm. If there was ever something a human had to be proud of, it would be that.

I sit here today asking myself, "Where does this resilience come from?" Any moment, on every day, at every striking second devastation is crushing humans. Frustration at the unknown brings about depression. And the lack of control causes us to grapple at some form of control in our lives that at one time or another causes us to walk down the lonely path of hopelessness. We do all we can to hold onto something, to claim something, to demand some type of control over our lives. Without this we would most definitely go insane. The delusion of control is the fog we all live our lives in from one day to the next.

Why do we keep moving forward when all that we know for sure is that sadness and pain will continue to reign? The answer lies deep within us, another part of life and existence we have no control over. It just lies there keeping us strong, moving us along the continuum humans have called time.

Religion seeks to answer these questions and thankfully so, but what about the questions that religion does not answer? Questions like, "Why are certain humans able to comfortably live on this speck of dirt, while others must live in constant poverty of life, liberty, & happiness?" Neither chose which way to live, it just seemingly happened that way.

Honestly, I ask myself everyday, why was I born when I was born where I was born? I did not to choose any of that. I had no control over none of that, but yet I am expected to control some of that. Again, I ask, "Where does this resilience to want to control any of it come from?" It was not my doing, but yet I have something within that wants to wrestle with control of it.

Resilience is part of TRUTH.